I remembered something in the past year that I hadn’t thought much about in the last 20 or so years. I recalled a time when I was around 18 that I had a deep desire to significantly help others going through depression and to help them to find answers. That desire was so strong in me that I started my own research and learning process to gather everything helpful I could find. I even tried college… twice, yes twice, and realized it was just not for me for many reasons. I have never really regretted not finishing college, and I no longer want to be a psychiatrist or the like. However that longing to help others stuck with me.
As this thought entered my mind, I heard God tell me in my spirit very strongly -
“I put that desire in your heart but that was not the route I wanted you to take. This is.”
He is a God of few words, but the impact is great – especially for someone like me who is NOT of few words.
I knew immediately that had I pursued what I thought I wanted it would have never worked out, for my ways are not His ways. I am thankful I came through everything I went through to be at this more “real” place to tell the stories; for I would have not been prepared as I am now. He is fulfilling those desires. And for that I am forever grateful – I stopped living “day in day out” a long time ago… and it only gets better every day that I am along for the ride.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.
6 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
Psalm 37 (ESV)
